She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
