3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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