So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
