oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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