idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
