Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
