dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
