Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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