just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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