My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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