They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
