Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just found puke in my bra..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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