Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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