As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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