Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize