I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
