WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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