VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
