ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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