And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
