Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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