It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
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