Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
