Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Me too!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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