Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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