called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
