pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
