And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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