So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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