Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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