Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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