That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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