big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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