Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
