What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
