in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
