There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
