Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
