Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
