she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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