You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
