I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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