dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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