I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
