Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
