i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
