dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
