Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
