I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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