maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
