You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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