whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
