we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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