out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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