Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
