We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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