I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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