I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize