We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
