3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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