I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
