Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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