This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
