Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
